Few would call me a quitter. In my storied, notoriously sexy career, I’ve mastered the most arcane arts, conquered the sexiest sex magick, and, as Executive Editor of Gizmodo Media Group, even written a blog or two. But sometimes even the most powerful warlock must release his wand. Sometimes the only way to rise up is to drop out.

That’s right, folks, you won’t have Crissy Angel to kick around anymore.

My health was the first thing to go. For years I’ve “started shit” I “couldn’t finish,” but since assuming the helm at GMG, my once exquisite body has turned flabby and weak. On the rare occasions I could get my requisite 12 hours of sleep, my dreams would be haunted by voices telling me I’m “bad” and should “log off.”

Today, I’m choosing to listen. Today, I quit. Totally. Forever.

TO BE VERY CLEAR: I’m not quitting blogging. And I’m certainly not quitting GMG. I REPEAT: I AM NOT LEAVING GMG. But I won’t be writing about card-based magic tricks anymore, no matter how much you all beg me too.

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I hereby cede my exclusive blogging domain to my (significantly less talented) peers.

You’re all very, very welcome.